I was browsing through my phone's videos folder and found a few VS videos. One was Mr Low's farewell assembly, one was the band performing its signature piece during Sec 1 Registration last year and one was Speech Day two years back.

I miss VS so much ): the awesome 5th floor parade square, the music of the concert band, the grand display of CCA flags, our favourite Mr Maran and Mr Chia, the wise Mr Siow, the fatherly Mr Low, and THE CLUBROOM, among many things, people and places in VS that I miss. Oh yes, most of all, the Victorian Spirit!

My days in VS have been the most life-changing ones, though they weren't exactly positive experiences. I thought I would have graduated with a bunch of brothers that would continue to be my brothers for life. In the end, I would say my own lack of maturity broke many friendships in early Sec 3. And so I left grad night alone, not staying for an after-party. I only remained for perhaps the last cheering session as a batch and omg it was an a-a-a-awesome one!

But after the euphoria, loneliness set in again. Yeah, and I would remember how people would isolate myself when people joked with me in the manner young 14, 15, 16 year old boys would. I was vulnerable then. When Yun Han told me that I should start a fresh chapter in JC, the world came crashing down on me. Did I waste my once-in-a-lifetime 4-year experience in VS? Whenever I think how my life in VS was compared to other more successful Victorians I would go into a state of depression, blaming myself for all the mistakes I've done, wishing I could go back in time and reverse them.

My lack of maturity and sense of responsibility also led to the downfall of the club. As a stand-in chairman, I failed badly, much worse than my predecessor. After I broke down, I just disappeared. It was in Sec 4 when I began to try to pick myself up and I did sorta wanted to redeem myself. As much as possible, I went back to the clubroom to help the juniors. I was just so glad that they could accept me despite my failure to uphold my responsibility. Whenever I had free time, I would drop by the clubroom. This carried on even after I graduated. At that point, my juniors were my only brothers in VS. I'm proud that they've grown into very mature gentlemen and professionals today and that's why I continue to believe in VS and in the club.

One of the biggest reasons that motivated me to run for President in AJ Photog was my poor performance in Sec 3. I looked at it as another form of redemption and hoped to prove to myself that indeed, Victorians are something more.

Perhaps in my first year of presidency, I was too stubborn and kinda arrogant in the sense that I tried to push my ideas too hard. Yeah that did turn people off somewhat. In the end, we didn't achieve much in the first year. But in the second year, with a stream of projects bombarding our club we seem to be achieving a lot. Yea, we got busy, we got frustrated, but they were done and I must say we bonded through all the late evenings we stayed behind discussing stuff, talking shit, and partying in the darkroom. Oh yeah.

I also got quite an awesome class and a retarded bunch of bros in AJ whom I can talk shit to haha.

Wait, doesn't it sound like my life in AJ was more life-changing than in VS?

Well, I don't think all these great stuff could have happened to me without all the values and lessons in VS. The teachers I had were the best. The ever cool and chill-looking Wong W L, the forever YouTubing Kulandayan Thirunavukarasu, the storyteller R O.

And the principal. Mr Low. I can't praise him enough. Best principal ever. Gets to know practically everyone in the school, esp the upper sec. I salute him. (Trivia: he's a LTC in the SAF the last time I saw him in uniform.)

4C has so many funny and interesting personalities whose comments I always laugh at even if they make fun of me and cause me to feel isolated. Jianzhong, sihao, ahmad, khrisen, mirza, etc etc I think I need a class list haha.

Yeah, all these things make VS awesome. So awesome that VS and her Victorian Spirit has become my life, my philosophy, my pillar of strength.

Yep. I miss VS. A lot. Too much. Sometimes I would even cry or shed a tear if I'm feeling sentimental. Heh.